We have encountered quite a lot of flack from the general population, about being pregnant with our 3rd. And B was relaying this to a friend of ours. He was duly quite shocked. We have gotten over the stares and comments, but its still quite something to experience. While B was chatting to me about A’s reaction to what we have been through, I realized that every pregnancy has been a giant lesson for me in “getting over” what everybody else thinks. (its an issue i’ve always had, i have relied too much on what people think of me and have allowed it to have too much sway and influence over me)
so to make a short story long, i thought id write down about everybody else’s reactions to our pregnancy’s.
Pregnancy 1 (jessie)
i fell pregnant with jessie at 22 and had her at 23. Throughout my pregnancy people were constantly asking me how my school dealt with me being pregnant, and about how could i be so young and irresponsible?!? now at that stage B and i had been married for over a year, and we were settled and wanting kids. But the rest of the world saw a young girl and judged me on that. Ill never forget how one mother/daughter combo stopped 2 feet from me and commented about “how disgusting” it is that young teens get pregnant! I learnt to hold my tongue and to try and not let the comments bother me.
Pregnancy 2 (jack)
When i fell pregnant with jack, we found out when jessie was 8 months old. it meant that our age gap would be 16months. you wouldve thought that suddenly people were running my life. people couldnt get over the fact that we were so irresponsible and stupid. once i started showing, people would ask me if both (jessie and the belly) were mine. when i said yes, the looks i got were anything from terror to unbelief to anger and even to stupified! people told me i was crazy, i would never cope, i was robbing them both, i was denying jessie etc etc etc.
Pregnancy 3 (3nut)
When people first found out about 3nut, they were shocked that we would want more than 2 kids. Somehow the idea of having more than 2 is completely foreign to many modern people. (in fact to some, the thought of having more than 1 sends them into a dizzy spin) I only started showing quite late, and once i did, BOY! you would have sworn that we were commiting a crime, or were candidates for the loony bin. This time, i have heard “shocking”, “disgusting”, “crazy”, “why on earth?” all too many times! Very few people have had positive things to say. I had an old lady in the shop just about attack me because “of the state of the world”, the “financial implications”, “overcrowding”, “too small an age gap” etc. She got very heated, and didnt know how to cope with my situation. I’ve also had lots of “youre very brave”, “youre much stronger than me” and “what were you thinking?”
the age gap also bothers and boggles people. the fact that im due and jessie has just only turned 3, is far too much for some people to bear.so is the fact that im only 26 having my 3rd child!
Frankly, these days, i notice the stares and hear the comments, but really dont care! if people want to comment, then they must. if they want to be nasty, then fine. but hey! b and i are bringing our kids into a loving family, where they have everything that they need and more, where both parents are home 24/7 (mostly), they get lots of attention and affection, they have a granny and uncles who adore them and that they see at least 3 times a week, a young mom, an active dad, where they are wanted very much and where they are allowed to be little! people only see the superficial and judge on that.
You should see what people do and say when I tell them that we are still considering having a 4th!
its all rather much, but heck! i love every second of it and wouldnt change a thing! our kids rock!!! We have been blessed beyond measure!