On mothers guilt
Mothers Guilt… Its a rather nasty little phrase. I don’t like it or what it represents.
Personally, I’d like to see those words kicked to the curb!
I don’t believe that those words should hold the power that they do. They seem to suck too many moms in and spit them out as bedraggled, confused women who have no idea which way is up.
Those words have been the downfall of many a mom. They become a self-fulfilling prophecy. “Wait until mothers guilt sets in” BAM! The seed is planted. It gets watered and fed by society and other moms. Suddenly its a big, ugly weed and mom is feeling guilty about almost everything.
We all have guilt in some form. But we were chosen to parent our children and that’s huge! That means that we should make our decisions, stick to them and not worry over the “what if’s” and what others say/think. Those things feed the guilt weed. Every time we’re attacked for doing what we believe is right, that weed grows bigger. That’s why we have to get rid of what feeds it. If that means cutting out negative people, so be it. Ultimately our sprogs deserve the best of who we are. And we stop being our best when we’re choked by guilt.
I don’t have mothers guilt as such.
What I do often feel is totally overwhelmed at the responsibility of being a parent.
We choose for our children pretty much until they are 18 – we choose their schools, what they eat, their religion – WE put them in situations based on OUR choices.
Yes you can argue that we are their mothers and we know best BUT we all know there are mothers out there that make bad choices so what makes me immune from that?
I parent from instinct and go with my gut BUT sometimes there are negative consequences.
For eg – I decided to send Kiara to Gr 1 a year earlier – I did research, I talked to people etc etc and made my decision. In hindsight it was the wrong decision. She has spent the last 2 years really battling – this is hard for me as her mother to watch. It is hard knowing I made that choice for her. Yes we are getting help and things work out as they must – it doesnt make it easier for her to read the words in front of her though.
I know you disagree but being a mother is one of the hardest things I have ever done.
Hi L
Thanks for commenting, I’m amazed people actually read my blog
I think you’re doing a stellar job with her! I know its tough, but you guys are doing great.
I agree, the responsibility is huge. All the decisions we have to make on their behalf.
I’m basing it on the guilt that mothers feel. I think its unnecessary. Yes, we all make mistakes (perceived or otherwise) along the way (I know I’ve made a number) but I don’t think we need to feel guilty about it either way
I don’t discount that its hard for you or anyone else who feels that way. For me, its easy-ish. But that could also be because my sprogs are younger… But we’re all different.
On the school issue, you did your best! You researched and went in having made the best decision you could with all the info you had. I still think you’re a great mom.
Yes, I agree that it should be removed from our lives that it is often a very negative thing – but it does have it’s Pros (very few – but they are there). I happen to read this post after I have posted my own thought on Mothers Guilt. It is a very unnecessary situation we put ourselves into. We judge ourselves too harshly and too fast. We only want to do what’s best for our children. We don’t care for others – we just don’t want to fail our children.